What a lovely view from my window, a true dream for anyone who enjoys 1980s concrete construction. I wonder if I can have a cup of coffee?
That being said, I’m 90% sure the Einstein Brothers chain only exists in hospitals. On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble will I get into if I raise and lower my bed back and forth while saying “whee!?” You know what more hospitals need? They need a Pal’s in them. I wonder if I can slip a twenty to an orderly to go and get me some cheddar rounds?
This bed leaves a lot to be desired. It’s hard to get comfortable when you have all these tubes hooked up to you. This gown isn’t the most glamorous either. I can’t turn in either diction without everyone getting a full view of all my glory. This doesn’t do much for personal warmth either. I’m so damn cold I feel like a Dickensian child. Maybe I can find an urchin hat and when the nurse comes in to give me my meds I can say “Please, sir! May I have some ‘ore?” But that may make them tone down the medication, and I’m enjoying this side A of a Jefferson Airplane album vibe I’ve got going on.
Ah, lunch has finally arrived. Let’s see what it is today. What is this? Is this, I want to say, “meat?” If this is “meat” then the cafeteria here must order from the same one my middle school did. So if this is “meat” what kind is it? Hmm, it tastes like chicken, but has the appearance of pork. The brown gravy it’s smeared in also gives off the impression of Salisbury steak. Maybe this is that weird canned meat from the bottom of the shelf at the grocery store? But why would a hospital serve that? It’s loaded with sodium and other salty things that ain’t good for ya.
Unless… Oh my lord. What if my family put them up to this? They have that insurance clause on me that pays big! Sure. I see it now. Stick the old boy in the hospital for a few days! Load him up on potted meat and other stuff and let him kick it! Then they can spend the rest of their lives living off that sweet will of mine I wrote. They’ll plunder my Archive of unpublished work and make book deals for tens of dollars! I bet you my wife Dorinda put them up to this! She’s been talking of putting me on a holographic tour when I’m gone!
Those greedy fools! Wait till I’m gone and they find out I left all the money to my cat! Mr. Tiddles will be well taken care of while they out in the fields trying to find the pot of gold I hid under the old mine on my property! I’m gonna haunt them like crazy. Then again, perhaps I’m getting carried away. It’s late. I should get to sleep. Just got to crack this ether tablet under my nose and soon I can ride that sweet dragon to dreamland. See you next weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.