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Untitled Goose Column

We live in dark times. I know it, you know it, dogs know it. And as such, we need to take time for things that make this dark and cruel world brighter. Sometimes, however, something especially suited to cast away the dark appears. Such an occurrence has transpired, my friends. Two weeks ago, myself and many others I know who own a Nintendo Switch all were excited for the release of a new video game called “Untitled Goose Game.” 

What is “Untitled Goose Game,” you ask? It’s a video game in which you play a goose, who has a handwritten, in lovely cursive on notebook paper, to-do list. What does the to-do list comprise on? Little tasks you must do to make life slightly more annoying for the citizens of the quaint, English village in which you live. In doing these challenges the game becomes something of a puzzle game. But the most delightfully abstract of a puzzle game. 

It helps that the graphic scheme of the game is a delightful, pastel drawing style that just really works with the world of this game. There’s also music in the game that is piano playing that reacts to how you’re doing with one of the particular tasks in the game. It actually can be helpful at times, clueing you in if you’re in the right direction for a particular task. The makers of the game, an Australian game group called House House, have created something great here. 

The puzzles of trying to get objects to where they need to be—without getting caught or noticed by a villager—really do present a nice little challenge. Also, there’s a button that is dedicated to doing one thing and one thing alone. Honking. Wouldn’t things be better if video games had a button that only made a goose honk? It’s an aspect of the game I enjoyed so much, just walking around and Honking at everything and everyone—and playing “Shave and a Haircut” with it. 

The game is quick too, I finished it over a weekend and I was so sad as I was playing the last stage, despite not wanting to wait. You can imagine my delight when the game then showed me a whole new list of bonus things on a new set of to-do lists. We live in times when everything just feels like there’s not a good reason to get out of bed when each day we’re constantly being slapped in the face with the dumbest news possible due to the dumbest people possible. So I can not stress just how great it is to spend a few hours, being a goose, honking at people, taking their things, and trapping them in garages. 

It’s a fun, all-ages game that I think you should check out. It’s funny, joyful, and a nice little challenge on a few stages—the more you progress in the game, the more humans there are to avoid. But the game lets you work at your own pace, there isn’t any pressure to get things done in a time-frame. Which is nice, as just poking around and seeing what items you can manipulate with your bill can help you figure out what you need to do to cross an item of the list. 

“Untitled Goose Game” is the perfect distraction from this messed up timeline we’re in. I hope the game’s success—and so far it appears to be a hit—will spawn more levels or a sequel to the game. I like this game’s world, and I like slamming that Honk button on my Switch controller. Being a horrible goose for a few hours was the perfect respite I didn’t know I needed. I hope it will be for you too. See you next week.

Sep 30, 2019Batteries Not Included
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By Andy Ross

Andy Ross is a humorist with a strong passion for classic movies and music. He collects records and board games, and is running out of room for both.

2 months ago *batteries not included, Archives, Columns
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