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      • Local Photographer Jeffrey Stoner April Exhibition at CSFA
      • ETSU’s 2021 Civility Week encourages participants to ‘Be the Light’
      • 2021 Spring Roan Mountain Naturalists Rally: Saturday, April 24, 2021 
      • BELOVED TRADITION OF THE “5X10 PLAYS” RETURNS TO TUSCULUM FOR SEVEN SHOWS IN ANNIE HOGAN BYRD
      • Bullington Gardens Holds Spring Plant Sale Online
      • ETSU to present virtual ‘radio style’ performance of scenes from ‘King Lear’
      • Tipton-Haynes State Historic Site Presents SUMMERS PAST HISTORY PROGRAM
      • MECC Foundation to Host Auto World – MECC Golf Classic
      • Our Living Past
      • BFA Exhibitions on display at the Reece Museum
    • Arts
      • Local Photographer Jeffrey Stoner April Exhibition at CSFA
      • BELOVED TRADITION OF THE “5X10 PLAYS” RETURNS TO TUSCULUM FOR SEVEN SHOWS IN ANNIE HOGAN BYRD
      • With Her Upbeat New Single, BETH SNAPP Finds Promise After the Pandemic
      • ETSU to present virtual ‘radio style’ performance of scenes from ‘King Lear’
      • Our Living Past
      • BFA Exhibitions on display at the Reece Museum
    • Music
      • With Her Upbeat New Single, BETH SNAPP Finds Promise After the Pandemic
      • Band Booking
    • News
      • ETSU Gatton College of Pharmacy offering free webinars for ESL Support Program
      • Birthplace of Country Music Ready for Spring with Increased Museum Visitation, Festival Planning, and New Events
      • Women in Power – Ashley Grindstaff
      • Women in Power – Angela Cameron, DDS
      • Women in Power – Kim Santucci
      • Johnson City Parks and Recreation announces 2021 summer camps
      • Abingdon, VA: Southwest Virginia’s Hub for World-Class Outdoor Adventure
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      • The Loafer Live
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      • Award Winning Digital Video Services
      • True Foundation Property Group
      • FairyTails Grooming & Daycare
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    • *batteries not included
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Things 2020 Have Taught Me

Congratulations! You’ve made it to November! We have just two more months in this garbage year to get through, and then…well…a new year where hopefully better days are coming. As we are now entering into a time of reflection and gratitude for—hopefully—several things about this year ending. I thought I would now, instead of in December, take some time to talk about all the things that have come into focus this year thanks to all the time I’ve spent at home. Ways that 2020 has changed either myself or my outlook on a few things.

In 2020 I learned the joys of the game “Animal Crossing: New Horizons.” I have now developed a personal relationship with Tom Nook, strong opinions on villagers, and a series of head-canon about whom is dating whom. I had a cranky monkey move in this week, I look forward to seeing how he gets along with my lazy villager.

In 2020 I learned there are some things worse than a YouTube video titled “The Penny Whistle Solo from My Heart Will Go On for 10 Hours.” Like the entire year of 2020.

In 2020 I learned that for some people “unplugging” means going hiking and for others, it means sitting in a basement watching “Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein” on VHS tape. It’s me. I’m the others.

In 2020 I learned that no political candidate was able to successfully answer the question “Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?”

In 2020 I learned that taking up model making is not for me. I thought putting together a detailed 1957 Chevy would be fun, but I lack both the concentration and dexterity needed. I wound up with something that looks liked a crushed 1957 Chevy after it passed through the trash compacter of the death star.

In 2020 I learned that if I wanted to enforce social distancing among my non-science believing family, all I need to do is sing the entirety of Prince’s 1989 “Batman” album and they’ll both back away and never come to my home again.

In 2020 I learned that one can become so involved with “Animal Crossing: New Horizons” that they will be moved to write fan fiction about the game.

In 2020 I learned that my years of collecting hundreds and hundreds of movies were actually “pandemic preparation.”

In 2020 I learned that I can easily waste an entire day watching old episodes of “The Price is Right” on YouTube.
In 2020 I spent more time learning about and planning how to make the most money on the turnip market in “Animal Crossing: New Horizons” than I ever have about my actual, real-life, investments.

In 2020 I learned that spending an entire month watching every classic Universal Monster Movie in order is time well spent.

In 2020 I learned that Sahara, the friendly rug, floor, and carpet merchant, is my favorite of the special visitors in the game “Animal Crossing: New Horizons.”

In 2020 I bought a vintage cassette tape deck for my stereo. I’ve learned that though I didn’t think I needed one, being able to play my old tapes from when I was a kid has brought me a great deal of joy.

In 2020 I learned that I feel guilty if I go to the museum early in the day and wake up Blathers, the owl curator, in the game “Animal Crossing: New Horizons.”

In 2020 I learned that though we may all disagree politically, the one thing we all can agree on is that Mable and Sable, the tailors, are two of the most precious characters in the game “Animal Crossing: New Horizons.”

In 2020 I learned…

In 2020 I learned…

In 2020 I learned I really like “Animal Crossing: New Horizons.” See you next week.

Nov 3, 2020Batteries Not Included
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The Haunted HalfTUSCULUM HOSTING “MACBETH” FOR SEVEN PERFORMANCES AT ANNIE HOGAN BYRD ON GREENEVILLE CAMPUS
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By Andy Ross

Andy Ross is a humorist with a strong passion for classic movies and music. He collects records and board games, and is running out of room for both.

5 months ago *batteries not included, Archives, Columns
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