Happy Holidays everyone! This week marks the most magical time of the season due to the two most important celebrations all year – mine and Jesus’s birthdays! (Not New Years, that comes next week.) Considering how 2020 has played out, I really don’t know what the big man has on his vision board for the next chapter in life, but I for one have hardly been this excited for a birthday since I was a kid. There is something about this one that feels more like a milestone than even my 30th, and it’s in a good way. I feel like I’m closing out the first half of my life and being reborn into a second, better half.
While I was busy trying to throw together a party between an insane work schedule and everyone’s Christmas plans, I tossed around a few themes before I narrowed it down to my top 2. Initially, in the spirit of being reborn, I wanted to throw my own “funeral” but apparently that was too morbid for my nearest and dearest. Hear me out. It’s a crying shame that we don’t have events where we all gather just to celebrate someone’s life and say nice things about them until they’ve already croaked and can’t enjoy it. Being a person whose love language is words of affirmation, I think I would really have a blast at my funeral and I’m a little upset I’m going to have to miss it! Plus I love any excuse to wear all black. But alas, I went in the polar opposite direction and settled on “35 and Stayin’ Alive,” which gives me an opportunity to listen to disco and party like it’s Studio 54 all weekend, which is essentially what I would want my funeral to look like anyway so it’s a win-win.
I also chose this because I don’t want to put an emphasis on things that are dead in my life; I’ve wasted enough of my precious time giving energy to people and things that do not serve me. This is the time for living life to its fullest! I want to continue tackling all those goals that scare me and cultivate an existence that makes me go to sleep and wake up smiling every day. I hardly pat myself on the back, but I am extremely proud of the work I’ve done on myself in recent years and I think that effort has set me up for continued success on my journey for peace. And honestly, above the usual goals I set for myself annually (pay off debt, lose weight, blah blah blah) this year I think I need to focus on finding my peace, and it’s the most terrifying thing I’ve had to face in quite some time.
In order to find peace I am going to have to let go of some things that I don’t know I am ready to part with quite yet, because letting them go will require a level of vulnerability I just can’t muster. If I continue to hold on I can wrap myself in them for protection, but they’re the equivalent of a smallpox covered blanket- keeping me safe from the outside elements but at the same time making me sick from the inside out. I’ll also have to admit things to myself that I don’t want to hear, and that always sucks. However, I am confident if I can succeed in this task, I can do anything, so this release and healing is my main focus for this trip around the sun.
As for some fun stuff, I am laying out a timeline to achieve some things that I’ve been wanting to do. Once work comes to a screeching halt post-December, I immediately have a trip somewhere sandy and warm on the list, as well as getting scheduled to take WSET II (to further my career) and making that podcast dream become a reality! I feel like even putting these things in writing and out into the universe has already made them tangible and mine. But before I get there, I’ve got to knock out the holidays and close this year with a bang.
Without jumping too far into my 2020 recap, because I’m saving that for next week, I just want to say that for as stressful as this year has been, I would say it has been maybe my best year. Hindsight is always 20/20 (get it? I’m “punny.”) but I really think I am going to look back at this time as a very special point in my life. In my line of work it’s a little difficult to be able to enjoy Christmas and New Year, as that is our busiest weeks, but I’m putting in a solid effort to not let that chaos turn me into a total Grinch. I’m grateful to have another celebration with my family and friends, and the means to enjoy a good meal around a sparkly tree. There are a lot of people out there who don’t have that opportunity.
I don’t know the median age range of folks who are reading this, but I venture to guess we’re all adults, and if that’s the case you’re probably out running around, scrambling for gift ideas and putting yourself in financial stress just to show someone they are meaningful to you. Please don’t do that. Take this time to really let your loved ones know your appreciation by using your words and actions- to me, someone taking the time out of their day to send me a nice uplifting message is more valuable than any gift. (Although I will accept cash if you’re strapped for compliments this year.) Give someone a hug if you’re into that and just focus on having a relaxing, enjoyable time with people who make you happy. Or if you’re surrounded by people who make you unhappy, then focus on having a relaxing, enjoyable time alone. Trust me, I do it about 6 nights a week and it’s great.
Merry Christmas everyone and happy birthday to me and Jesus. We’re gonna make this year awesome!