Once again my life is about to flip upside down. I swear to god I’m so well-adjusted to the flip-flopping, you’d think my blood was made of Dramamine.
I was forced to make an undesirable major financial decision June 1st and put in notice to leave my job, a job I love and am very much appreciative for. Not only that, but I am leaving my career in distribution to step back into the world of hospitality as a bartender and server, a world I thought I’d left behind in 2016. Talk about a leap of faith.
Following a financially taxing year of leaning on credit cards to supplement income lost from my unemployment during COVID, my income alone just wasn’t enough to get caught up. Unfortunately due to outdated and nonsensical TABC laws, it is illegal for me to hold a wholesaler license (to work for a distributor of alcohol) and a server permit (to work as a server or bartender and pour) at the same time. That means on the weekends or evenings I couldn’t just pick up a few shifts behind a bar to supplement my income until I moved up in the company and began earning more money. So I made the decision to go back to my roots and start slingin’ drinks.
Thankfully Nashville is a tourist town where you can actually make a career in the service industry. Not only that, but like everywhere else in the United States, practically everyone is hiring and begging for help, so the transition back into that side of life should be fairly easy and profitable. And while this was a major life decision, I have to admit I’ve never felt more confident that it was the right thing for me and have no regrets… regardless of what my mother thinks.
There comes a time when you have to trust that you know yourself better than anyone else, and to have the courage to live your life as authentically as possible. I’ve found this is the only way to live a life at peace and with no regrets. Aka, do you booboo!! My mother, out of sheer love and worry for her only daughter, is having a hard time wrapping her head around my reasoning for leaving a promising career where I was thriving to “downgrade” back to a service position. She is projecting her own life experiences onto my decision without full comprehension of the toll it has taken on me, and while I completely understand her thought process, I cannot stay on a path that is so clearly not destined for me just to put her at ease.
My life since 2017 has been completely exhausting and stressful. If you’re a longtime reader I’m sorry to reiterate 4 years of trauma, but to make a long story short for new readers, it’s been: back-to-back romantic betrayals, losing a job, a move to Nashville, a tornado, a pandemic, losing another job and now being thrown into a high stress role during holiday season for a huge company. A girl needs a break in a BIG way. I’ve been chasing numbers in sales for the last 5 years; a role where it’s never enough and it never stops. You shatter goals and hit record numbers on the 30th, only to have the clock wind back up and start over from 0 on the 1st. Your money depends largely on your team hitting numbers more than your own individual efforts, and there is insane pressure to place items based on supplier demand while still trying to service your accounts based on their actual needs. Since October it’s been 50-60 hour workweeks and tens of thousands of miles on the road, and I’m still struggling to make ends meet on my single income. I’m in the worst physical shape I’ve been in since my PBR-induced college obesity, I’m sleep deprived and quite frankly, I’m over it. Every part of my being is screaming at me this is no way to live and the thought of having a job where I go in, make my money based on my own performance, and leave my work at work upon clocking out, feels like a much needed breath of fresh air.
My decision to pull the trigger on resigning was reaffirmed when I immediately began seeing positive karmic results. You may think I’m a nutjob, but I believe beyond a shadow of doubt that if you just pay attention, the universe gives you signs you’re going in the right or wrong direction. I filed my resignation on Monday and on Tuesday morning I woke up feeling lighter than I’ve felt in years, as if the weight of the world was off my shoulders. Wednesday I was scrounging for gas money to fill my tank without using credit cards, checked a credit union account I never use and there had been a deposit from the IRS made on the same day I filed my resignation that was well over $1000, due to paying taxes on my unemployment. And that’s just for starters. In the week since I made this decision, my life has been filled with blessings, and I am certain I am doing what is meant for me.
My point in sharing this decision with you all is to let you know, it’s ok to do what makes you happy, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else. YOU are the one who has to live your life, not anyone else. As long as you carefully weigh your decisions and are prepared to handle any consequences, you can do whatever you want. If you’re at the top of your career game but mentally it’s making you a wreck, leave. If you’re in a “picture perfect” relationship with someone who “should” make you happy but still find yourself unfulfilled, don’t waste precious time, both yours and theirs, faking it. I don’t know what lies beyond the time we’re gifted on this planet, but I do know it’s not meant to be spent in unhappiness. Spend these fleeting moments doing things that bring you joy with people who delight and inspire you, even if it means confusing or agitating others. If the people in your life love you, they will want you to be happy, period. Anyone who doesn’t is gaining something from your discontentment and should be eliminated from your circle immediately.